I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
