I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
