Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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