Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
