Do vagina's smell?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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