Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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