The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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