I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
pray to the hookup gods
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
dude. I can hear the air.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
