i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
