I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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