what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
