Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
