Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Green mimosas i think yes
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
