If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
