Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
