yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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