Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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