Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
