Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
