I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
