How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
