kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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