My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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