Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
