he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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