It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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