If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
