I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You made out with two different species that night
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
