Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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