i need an iv and a liver transplant
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
