All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
