STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
