sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Drunk is a universal language darling
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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