We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she peed on how many people?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
