I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
