My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
