check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
