I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
