I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
