i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
