put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she peed on how many people?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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