Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
