I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
