I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
