yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
