we have pet lesbian snakes
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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