I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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