The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
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