maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
