just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
