Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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